18:52 Sat, Nov
Chapter 183
“I know that I’m the one who dug his own grave, but all I needed was one more chance. Why was it so hard for her to give me another chance? It would have made a lot of difference,” I huff, resting my elbows on my thighs while placing my hands on my forehead.
“Maybe she had had enough, Silas. You’re my brother and I love you, but maybe you drained the poor girl,” Tristan says, making me close my eyes. I hate that he is right. I have already reached that conclusion on my own, but I don’t want to hear such words from anybody.
“When I walked inside our home, I was so excited. I wanted to tell her about the news. I was so damn sure that she was going to be so proud of me for enrolling myself in that program, but then I saw the letter and the ring and all the excitement inside of me faded.” It’s been three days since her departure, and I barely slept. I haven’t slept in our bedroom ever since that terrible day. I had slept there before when she was inside the house, but something about not having her with me made the room seem different. Sleeping there while not having her in the house feels like I’m betraying her in some way.
When I walked into our closet, I hoped to see her clothes. The ring and the divorce papers weren’t enough to convince me that she really left. I thought that she was pranking me, wanting to teach me a lesson, but I didn’t find lots of her clothes and her favorite pieces of jewelry were missing. That made me partially believe that she really left. Even after my talk with Emily, I tried to convince myself that she was coming back.
The next day, I stayed home, and my eyes were glued to the door, hoping to see her opening it and walking inside, telling me that she wanted to show me that she could easily leave, but that didn’t happen either. I think I fully accepted that she really left that day, because she didn’t come back.
“And what do you plan on doing now?” he asks me, and I frown, not understanding his question. “In other words, do you plan on returning to alcohol?”
“No, I’m four days sober and I’m not going to give up this time. I’m determined to beat my addiction. I’m not going to lose everything I have worked hard to have. I know that the road to sobriety won’t be easy, but that’s okay. Nothing has ever been easily handed to me. I worked so hard to reach where I am today in football. It took me years to win Rosie, and I managed to make her mine. But it also took me mere months to drive her away. That doesn’t mean that I’m going to give up, though. “She’s the love of my life and I will stop at nothing until she forgives me.
“How do you plan on winning her back?” he wonders.
“I honestly feel like I have got nothing to offer her and there’s a voice in my head that keeps telling me she’s better off without me, but I can’t give in to such thoughts. I will remind her of how we fell in love. I will become the man she fell in love with before. I will show her that I no longer drink,” I tell him, not knowing what else I can do to win her back.
“Assuming that you won’t relapse by the time you see her at the wedding, how many days will you have been sober by that time?” The question may hold doubt, but I know that this is not what he means. Tristan has the tendency to expect the
worst.
“Twenty–two days.” Yes, I have already counted them. I can’t wait to see her. I want to wrap my arms around her body and kiss her lips. I miss her scent and the way her body feels against mine. I miss everything about her.
“I know you can do it,” Tristan says with a smile as he pats me on the back. I believe I can do it too, because I have a strong incentive. Rosie is my incentive and whenever she is involved in the equation, I tend to succeed.
“I need to go now. I have got physiotherapy, then a therapy session afterwards,” I say, getting up.
“Looks up you’re ticking off all sorts of therapy from your to–do list,” my brother jokes, causing me to chuckle.
“See you later, asshole,” I say before leaving his home.
On my way out, I meet Scarlett just as I close their front door. She wasn’t there when I arrived.
“Hi Scarlett,” I tell her with a small smile.
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18:52 Sat, Nov 30 @ B
Chapter 183
“Hey, Silas. How are you?” Scarlett has always been nice. She and Rosic are close, so she must be mad at me for hurting her best friend; however, I know that she won’t act rudely because being rude simply isn’t in her nature.
“I’m hanging in there.” I shove my hands into my pockets. “You talked to Rosie, didn’t you?” I can’t help but ask.
“Yes.” I’m glad that she didn’t lie to me. “She’s doing well. Don’t worry about her,” she assures me, making me nod even though I’m going to worry about her. How am I supposed to simply not worry about my wife when I know nothing about her whereabouts?
“Scarlett, please tell her that if she’s trying to teach me a lesson, have already learned it and I miss her so much.” I’m desperate to the point I’m going to send her messages with every person I know she’s in touch with.
“And by that, I believe you haven’t signed the papers, right?” she hesitantly asks, and I nod.
“I’m not going to sign them, Scarlett. I love her so much and I’m not going to let her go. She needs to understand that,” I tell her.
“But what if you’re not meant to be?” I shake my head at her question.
“Rosie and I are meant to be. We have been through a lot, and we have always found our way to each other. This time won’t be any different,” I say. I know that I have caused her too much pain, but that doesn’t mean that it’s the end of us. This can never be the end.
We’re going to have a big family and grow old together. We’re going to travel the world together and make new memories whenever we can.
“You’re not going to give up, are you?” she wonders and I simply shake my head, making her smile. “Good, because I don’t want you to give up on her. I don’t want you to listen to that stupid divorce idea. She is really hurt and I truly respect her feelings, but I’m not convinced that you two should divorce because of that. You messed up big time, but you two need to work it out.”
Having Scarlett on my side makes me smile widely. It’s good to know that I have one of her friends on my side. I’m sure Kendall and Sabrina want to kill me. Even Gabbie, her cousin, probably wants to skin me alive.
“Can I count on you to help me out with winning her back when I need help?” I’m hopeful.
“Yes, you can.” She gives me a wide smile.
“Thank you so much, Scarlett.” I pull her into a hug, and I feel her hugging me back.
Maybe there’s still some sort of light at the end of the tunnel and I just need to be hopeful and patient.
SEND GIFT
