Chapter 56
I just would never have that, and it hurt. It hurt so much. I was constantly reminded that Dez and I.
We would never be together.
We would never have a normal relationship.
We would never get the happily ever after.
It was never going to happen and no matter how many times I told myself that I was okay with that. No
matter how many times I was reminded of that. It still hurt like hell. Each time hurt worse than the next.
And I couldn’t deal with it. I couldn’t live a life where I was reminded that I would never have a mate that
would care for me much less love me unconditionally. I was blinded by tears so I just stopped in the hallway, gasping for air wiping endless tears.
Atticus had left me alone, so I just soaked up the coldness of the empty hallway and cried. I couldn’t stop crying tears were streaming down my face endlessly no matter how many times I wiped them away. My throat was tight and my stomach hurt, I couldn’t breath I was crying so hard.
Dirty combat boots came into my view, and I looked up seeing the last person in the world I wanted to see. I made up my mind. I had decided.
“Reject me” I said wiping away more tears standing taller sniffing.
tanding taller shans
“What?” he asked, his voice was so wonderful, I drowned myself in the low rumbling sound that vibrated through my chest.
“Reject me” I said “Please” I pleaded. I just wanted it to end, I didn’t want to fight this anymore. I didn’t want to wait for him to finally want me. He didn’t and he never would and I was tired of convincing myself he eventually would. He wouldn’t. I didn’t need to put myself through any more misery, not if all I got out of it was pain. I deserved better.
He stared at me catching my eyes that were currently welling up with more tears. He had tensed and clenched his jaw.
“P–please” I begged not dropping his eyes. I would miss his eyes so much, they were my favorite feature about him. They were the only part of him that wasn’t cold and hard. They were the only part of him that showed emotion and was somewhat human. He looked angry as always but now he looked confused and regretful.
“Do it” I demanded through gritted teeth, I could see his eyes finally settle he had made up his mind to do it. My heart broke into a million pieces a sharp pain hit me, he was going to do it. I convinced myself that
I needed him to do this. I needed this. I closed my eyes bracing myself for the words that were about
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Chapter 56
come out of his mouth.
But the word that came out of his mouth wasn’t the one I expected.
“No.”
My eyes flew open and I stared at him, he looked furious.
“Why not?” I choked out through my tight throat, I couldn’t breathe I was still waiting for the words. There was weight on my chest and I needed him to reject me so I could finally breathe. He stared at me
for a while.
“I care about you” he stated I felt like I had been hit by a truck, my stomach twisted in knots and my whole body completely froze. My heartbeat stopped completely and my breath caught in my throat. I stared at him, was I imagining what he just said. Did he just reject me and I died. Was this what hell feels
like?
I wanted to ask him what he said, I wanted to hear it again, but I couldn’t get my voice to work. I couldn’t get any part of my body to respond. And then I was light headed, my mouth was dry. I couldn’t breathe.
“Shit” he cursed and came forward, I would’ve backed away but my body wasn’t working properly. He cupped my face in his hands.
“Breathe.” He told me, which only made it harder to breathe from his close proximity. I tried to
remember how to breathe, but I couldn’t recall, eventually my lungs were burning and black dots swam
in my vision. He cursed again and picked me up.
I was awake long enough to hear him say “She’s in shock” and I was laid down on a cold hard surface.
I woke up and immediately looked around, I was in a large bed I looked around and I started crying.
It was a dream.
It was all a dream.
I wanted it to be real so bad, I sobbed not able to breathe. I sniffed and wiped tears, it was then I felt
something move in my bed, I let out a small scream and tumbled to the floor, immediately Dez was
climbing out of my bed looking down at me.
“Why the hell are you crying?” he asked looking down at me like I was stupid.
“Why are you in my bed?” I asked my voice hoarse from sleep and crying.
“I had to stay in here to make sure you didn’t stop breathing again” he said motioning to me with a hint of irritation.
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“Again?” I questioned quietly.
