Chapter 23
“Please” he said and I relaxed slightly. The fact that he made an effort to show me he didn’t mean to be rude was a foreign feeling. It was almost like an apology or Dez saying please. We were both silent as he walked, I stayed stiff in his arms. Eventually I just relaxed and laid my head down.
I inhaled his scent that was so strong and musky now that I was close to him. His scent was almost addicting, it was intoxicating and making my head spin. I could feel Dez shift my weight to one hand and
then I could smell the familiar scent of Dez’s house.
I could hear the door close loudly and I jumped a little. As much as I hated it, I didn’t want to let go. I tightened my grip around his neck. I didn’t want him to leave. I realized I didn’t want him to leave ever. I wanted to be with him forever. And even if I pretended to hate him and denied my feelings for him, I still
wanted to be with him.
I still wanted him.
I wasn’t too sure what my feelings for him were. He made me comfortable, and I loved being in his arms. I love his voice, and I love that he always protects me. I love how he makes me feel safe and warm.
I cursed myself. I was in love with him. My heart hammered inside my chest, as I repeated the words.
I was in love with him.
I could feel my mind scrambling to defend itself, but it didn’t. I was in love with him. I was. I had spent so much time trying to hate him I had looked past the obvious. I was in love with Dezmond Collins.
He just killed a man right in front of me, and I was still clutching onto him never wanting him to let me go. I lost everything because of him, my family, my life, everything. I was completely aware of him murdering innocent women and children, and yet I was also completely aware how much I didn’t care.
I was pathetic.
I knew how much of a monster he was, but here I was falling head over heels. I was becoming infatuated with his very existence, and I hated myself for it. I hated him.
I repeated those words to myself.
I hate Dezmond Collins.
Even I could hear how much of a lie that was. How could I ever love something like him?
He was a monster. He was a ruthless, cold monster.
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Rejecting Cheating Husband: My Alpha Awakening
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Chapter 23
What part of ruthless monster did my mind not understand? Every part of my body was warm being in his arms, yet my mind was screaming at me to stop. My mind was telling me how stupid I was being. I can’t possibly begin to love a monster.
He would never love me. He can’t love, anyone or anything, so why am I getting my hopes up only to have them completely crushed.
“Kendal” I was pulled out of my bubble of overthinking, I looked up at him.
“Are you going to let me go?” he asked me sounding irritated. I should. I should let everything go, I should
leave here as soon as possible. I should run away and never return.
Because I’m falling in love with a monster.
My breath caught in my throat at the realization. I knew it was true no matter how much I denied it. No matter how much I avoided it. I knew how right I was.
I was in completely in love with a monster.
“Y–yeah” I answered hesitantly letting him go, he set me down on my bed, and I backed up a little, looking
up at him.
“Get some rest” he told me. He turned around.
“Wait!” I cried out and he turned around “I mean, um, where are you going?” I asked softer now.
“I have to take care of some things” he answered looking at me like he was trying to decide exactly what
was wrong with me.
“Oh, okay” I said, he turned back around and left.
I cursed some more, now that I was alone I was free to beat myself up over my new discovery. I frowned wondering how this happened. It was probably that stupid mate bond tricking me into liking him.
The only thing I was unsure about, is how this is going to play out. Dez obviously finds me annoying and now probably thinks I’m weak. I sighed and decided to deal with all of this another day. I climbed under my covers and tried to take a nap.
It would’ve been a marvelous nap if I had actually gotten to sleep. The problem was, the scent coming off Dez’s shirt wasn’t enough, eventually I got irritated enough I got up to go to Dez’s room to steal one of his pillows, I was just going to switch them out so he wouldn’t notice, but I ended up just curling up in his bed and going to sleep since his scent was pretty much radiating off his bed in waves.
I can honestly say that it was the best sleep I have ever gotten. I got up feeling refreshed, I sat up for a minute only to lay back down and bunch the sheets up to my nose. I inhaled his intoxicating scent, and it made my chest warm and my body tingle.
