Chapter 106
But now? After we had mated? After he told me he loved me, told me he cared about me, completed the most sacred act of sealing our bond that would mate us for life, he would cheat on me? I stared at the tile, the searing pain on my neck seemed to almost go numb at the thought. I could physically feel my heart shattering into a million pieces into my chest. I could barely breathe, my chest was tight and I could barely even swallow.
I couldn’t cry, all I could do was feel my world falling apart around me, and think about the fact that the man that I gave everything to, who I loved and trusted with my heart, I was never good enough for. I wasn’t good enough for him, so he was getting what he wanted from other people. I couldn’t comprehend it. Dez was with another woman. I tried to gasp for air but I couldn’t, my chest was tight but didn’t hurt, my neck didn’t hurt anymore either.
I gave him a chance. I trusted Dezmond with my heart, I gave him the ability to completely crush me by choosing to love him. I gave him every part of me. Parts I can never ever get back, and I wasn’t good enough. I was never good enough.
How could he do that to me? I thought I meant something to him. I thought he loved me, and cared for me? What had he wanted from me? Did he want me to fall completely head over heels for him so he could take my heart and put it through a wood chipper? What was the point of the last few months? Why had he kept me? What had he lead me on like that? To get into my pants?
It didn’t make any sense, Dez didn’t want to have sex. He didn’t want to do anything with me. I was always the one pushing him to do things. What had he wanted from me? What was the point of leading me on, and making me believe he loved me back and that we would have an actual future together? How could I be stupid enough to think that I would have a future with Dezmond Collins, how could I be that blind and pathetic? How did I not see this? Why didn’t I listen to myself from the beginning and run?
Instead I set myself up to fall completely in love with him and let him lead me on.
I was so stupid.
I sat on the bathroom floor for it had to be hours, finally I could feel my neck again, now it was just a dull throb it was almost unnoticeable. I stared at the wall, Eric stayed quiet and sat next me. He didn’t say anything, he was just there. Eventually I laid down on the cold tile, I couldn’t feel it, it was like my whole body was completely numb. Eric ran his fingers through my hair softly, and I just closed my eyes.
thinking.
The pain in my neck was nothing compared to the hole in my chest that was radiating pain with every breath I took. I couldn’t do anything, all I could was lay here, and feel my heart shattering inside me.
“Kendal, he’s not worth your tears” Eric told me quietly.
usband: My Alpha Awakening
Chapter 106
“I know” I responded, my voice cracked. He wasn’t. But it still hurt like hell to even think about him. He was my everything, and now here I was, broken in the middle of the night feeling the worst pain of my life as he obviously didn’t think twice about me. Like I meant absolutely nothing to him. Like I never did.
I couldn’t go to sleep, my mind was racing in mindless circles.
Eventually, light came through the bathroom window and I sat up. I got up and put on a sports bra and a random tie dye t–shirt with some nike shorts and jandals. I felt like shit, I threw my hair in a messy bun while Eric sat on my floor.
I walked out of the bathroom after brushing my teeth and he gave me a questionable look.
“Let’s go somewhere” I suggested, he looked me up and down for a minute and then connected our eyes. His eyes were searching mine, and finally he agreed.
“Do you want breakfast?” he asked me, after I put my seatbelt on and he turned his truck on, I shook my
head.
“Are you sure?” he asked, I nodded and he stared at me for a minute.
“I’m fine Eric.” I told him giving him a forced small smile, he nodded and he took me to my dads. He told me he was going to go take a quick shower, but I knew he was really just giving my dad and I some alone time, I nodded and he promised to be back in 20 minutes. I climbed the stairs and went into my dad’s office, he looked up as I walked in and I went and sat down, curling up in his chair.
“Morning” I said giving him a small smile.
“Everything okay? You look like hell.” he asked, I nodded.
“Whatcha doing?” I asked.
