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Chapter 7
I turned off the power, and the surroundings suddenly fell into an unusual silence. For the first twenty–eight years of my life, I had been rushing forward relentlessly, too afraid to pause even for a breath. The moment I stopped, the world would cruelly abandon me.
Riley, what exactly are you pursuing? I asked myself, but my chest felt hollow, devoid of
answers.
I had heard that at the world’s end, those who
have witnessed the aurora find their wishes
fulfilled. After arriving in Northern Europe, I settled into a cozy guesthouse–a place where Jarvis and I had once come on a business trip. At that time, it had been the snowy season, and
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we left hurriedly without truly experiencing it.
Surprisingly, I wasn’t alone in my quest; many others with similar aspirations had also checked into the same guesthouse. Among them were friends, families, and couples. Thus, a spontaneous sightseeing group formed, composed of strangers brought together by fate.
This little town was devoid of towering buildings; instead, it was surrounded by snow–capped mountains and winding fjords. The last rays of the setting sun bathed the mountaintops in golden light as an airplane took off, catching that final glimmer, startling a flock of seagulls that circled above with crisp,
cheerful cries.
As night fell, dark clouds gathered, and the stars became sparse. Yet solutions emerged, and
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someone suggested we pursue the aurora. We rented a car and hired a local “aurora tracker,” embarking on what felt like a whimsical quest for light.
The car drove into the night, weaving through shadows until the first glimmers of dawn appeared in the distance.
“It’s the aurora!” someone shouted excitedly.
The band of light spanned across the sky, transcending mountains and reaching deep into the soul. “Why don’t you make a wish?” someone asked me. I was momentarily speechless; perhaps I once had many wishes.
For instance, I wished my mother could care for me a little more. I also longed to spend the years ahead with Jarvis. Yet, at this moment, I
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found myself utterly speechless.
“May my mother’s illness improve soon,” a boy beside me prayed earnestly. I mimicked his gesture, bringing my hands together, silently wishing, “Let me be healthy and may all my wishes come true.”
Around the bonfire, travelers held steaming mugs of cocoa, sharing their stories. Some wished for eternal love, seeking to be together for a lifetime; others carried their final hopes, praying for their family’s safety.
I had never felt such a profound sense of peace in this moment. In the past, my mind was consumed with calculations of gain and loss. Every situation was assessed for risks, every return meticulously calculated. Matters of the heart felt far too indulgent for me. Once
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I fell into despair, no one would lend a hand -there were even those who would take the opportunity to step on me.
Jarvis’s presence offered a fleeting escape from my suffocating days, allowing me to touch the emotional world I had long avoided. I bared my inadequacies, my family struggles, my burdens to him, hoping to deter him from coming closer, to show that I was unworthy of his investment.
Yet he drew nearer each time, affirming every part of me. In the end, he shattered everything he had helped me to build, leaving my heart in pieces. With each cut, he plunged the knife deeper, mercilessly piercing my core. The pain was unbearable yet strangely liberating.
The heavy snow enveloped me, and the tears in the corners of my eyes froze instantly. I spread
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my arms wide, surrendering to the swirling snowflakes, embracing this fleeting solace.
“It’s nothing serious, Riley.”
Heavy clouds loomed above, and the crowd let out disappointed sighs.
“What bad luck, it started to snow. Let’s head back.”
On the way home, an unexpected turn of events struck. The car rolled over several times, and the world outside turned into a blinding white.
“An avalanche!”
Fear, blame, and self–pity echoed in my ears. I had often imagined a day at the amusement park with my family, envisioning myself in a
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playful bow, perched on my father’s shoulders, letting my guard down as I playfully pouted, “Mom, I want that stuffed toy!”
But in the face of life and death, I realized the truth: the bonds between people are inherently temporary. Whether it’s family, friendship, or love, they come in phases.
Just like now, the sadness inside the car quickly transformed into encouragement for one another.
“We’re all going to make it.”
I don’t know who shouted first, but soon everyone began to work together to break the windows. Before this moment, we were strangers, but this shared journey had forged a bond, motivating us as we fought for our
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survival. Yet, after today, we would refer to each other as ‘passersby in each other’s lives.
Once rescued, I lay weakly in the snow, drawing a small sun on the soft surface–a mark that
belonged solely to Riley.
As time passes, my imprint may fade, but I had undeniably existed.
To love others, one must first love oneself; in the depths of despair, self–rescue is paramount.
I realized that my own journey was just beginning.
Chapter 8
