Chapter 143
The King stares at me with panic in his eyes before he pulls me into a hug. Dammit, he smells amazing. All I want to do now is breathe him in. My impatience from earlier is starting to melt away and my thoughts are a little clearer now. I don’t know how I feel about my instinctual reactions to him. I don’t want them to but they still feel a little filthy to me. Disrespectful somehow.
“None of that was your fault,” he says after a long pause. A pause long enough for me to convince myself to step back, but his hold on me is tight.
“Maybe it wasn’t, but the fact is that I’m carrying it and it’s really fucking heavy. I infected you once already. I don’t want to do it again,” I don’t want to hurt him or be the reason why he turns feral.
“Believe it or not, that’s progress,” Dr. Salazar says.
“Shut the fuck up, Ed,” the King growls. I hate that I think it’s hilarious and I’m grateful that I am buried in the King’s chest, so the man doesn’t see me laughing at him. “Get the fuck out,”
“My King,” he bows. “My Queen,”
The poor man all but runs out of the study. Silas finally breaks and bursts into laughter.
“You have to give the man credit for that. The moment you growled the first time, anyone else would have dropped it,”
“Get out, Sigh,” the King glares at him. He smirks at me and steps out shutting the door behind him.
“Are you okay?” I ask him. He finally releases me and steps back. I welcome the space because his expression tells me he’s not. “I’m sorry,”
“What are you sorry for?” he shakes his head.
“I don’t know. Stressing you out like this when you should be focused on everything else at court. I honestly feel like me being in the looney bin would help,”
“Perry, knowing that you’re not okay isn’t going to help me worry less about you,” he says frustratedly. It’s a good look on him. I’m glad because there’s probably going to be a lot of that going forward.
“I thought this would make you happy,”
“It does and it doesn’t,”
“I get it. I’m not too thrilled about the situation myself,” I shrug and drop into the seat across from his desk. “Just the evaluation made me want to stab him with his stupid bright red pen,”
“I don’t want this,” he shakes his head. “You belong here with me. By my side. I need you,”
His words stir something in my belly and I have to avert my gaze. He’s always taking so much. It’s hard for me to keep up. This is new to me.
Darren and I grew up together in the same neighborhood around the same predators we were raised with. I knew that when he was being a piece of shit, it was called for. The King’s actions feel like overreactions to me. And then comparing the two seems really fucking dumb. Darren wasn’t a King or Prince. He was just…Darren.
I’m trying to remain understanding, but a part of me just wants to tell him that he needs just as much help as I do. That’s a conversation that’s not going to blow over well with everything going on.
“This isn’t about you,” I say taking a deep breath. “Jonas, I’m no good like this. I’m the kind of person who is ten steps ahead of the world. I’m always in control of how I do things and right now all I feel is guilt and fear. That’s not a good combo,
15:48
Thu, Nov 21
Chapter 143
When I’m afraid, I do things I don’t mean to.
45
“I’m really good at fucking up. I look at you and I see how bad I made things for you. What I did would have been terrible if
shit. I did it to my mate. I did it to I had stayed dead. I don’t want to move forward with you if I’m going to keep destrovin Mackenzie and Jake. I did it to myself. I can’t do it to you too. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I’m barely living with it now,”
“I don’t understand where all of this is coming from. I consented to all of it the same way you did. How are you the only one at fault?” he kneels next to me. I smile shaking my head.
“I’m not, Jonas. You’re just too distracted to see it. You have a purpose. A purpose great enough to kill for. That’s what I want,”
“I can give you that,”
“You already have,” I finally look at him. “I just want to do it right. No more lies. No more sneaking around. We’re both so fucked. I want more than what we’re being forced to endure. For both of us. For those of us left. Mack, Jake, Annie. They need us to be better. I can’t help them if I don’t help myself first
“You picked a hell of a time to grow a conscience,” he groans.
“I know. It’s funny,” I flick his ear. He snaps his teeth at me barely missing when I pull away.
“James is going to be in the same institution,” he says after a while. “My mom might join when you come back,”
“This just gets better and better,” I sigh. He stands up to go around the desk. When he goes to say something, my phone throat to rings. I immediately scramble for it. “It’s him,” I hold it up to show him the unregistered number and clear my answer. “Perry,”
“Aren’t you supposed to be fucking dead?” Alpha Tech answers. You rang me?”
“Yes, to both questions,” I roll my eyes. Who the fuck answers the phone like that? “Good afternoon, Tech,”
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15:48 Thu, Nov 21