hapter 5 

The phone buzzed relentlessly beside me, Joshua’s name flashing on the screen like a haunting reminder of everything I had left behind. I stared at it, my fingers trembling. My heart pounded, the mate bond still tugging at me, weak but persistent, like an old scar that refused to fade. 

I’d left the Moonriver Pack behind, left him behind. But no matter how far I ran, it seemed Joshua wasn’t going to let me go easily. I should‘ ve turned off the phone, thrown it away, but some part of me–some broken part of me–wanted to confront him. 

With a deep breath, I answered. 

[Eloise…] His voice came through, heavy with exhaustion and desperation. [Please, just talk to me.] 

“What do you want, Alpha?” I replied coldly, pacing the small hotel room. The lights outside blinked in the distance, indifferent to the storm brewing inside me. I could feel my wolf pacing restlessly beneath my skin, itching for a fight, aching to lash out. But I held her back. 

[I didn’t mean to hurt you,] he started, his voice raw with guilt. [I didn’t know… I didn’t realize how bad it was.] 

‘Of course you didn‘ t,” I spat, anger bubbling up before I could stop it. “You never realized. You were too busy protecting her.” My voice shook, and I hated how much emotion was still wrapped up in those words, in that name. Monique. 

His silence on the other end made my blood boil. 

“Every time she needed something, you were there. Every time she so much as whimpered, you dropped everything to comfort her. And me? What was I, Joshua? Just your Luna in name, someone to stand beside you while you played the role of her knight in shining armor?‘ 

[You don’t understand,] he finally said, his voice thick with something I couldn’t quite place. [Monique… she reminded me of my sister.] 

His words hit me like a punch to the gut. “Your sister?” I repeated, disbelief flooding my mind. 

“What are you talking about?‘ 

[My sister,] he said softly, as if the memory was too painful to speak of. [She died when I was young, protecting me from rogues. When Monique came to the pack… I saw her. I saw my sister in her, Eloise. I couldn’t just stand by and watch her suffer.] 

For a moment, I was stunned into silence. I hadn‘ t known. I hadn‘ t known about his sister or the wound he’d been carrying all these years. But even as the revelation sank in, so did something else–something darker. 

“I 

I didn’t know,” I whispered, the truth of it weighing down on me. But then, I straightened my spine, and my voice hardened. “But that still doesn‘ t excuse anything, Alpha. 

[I wasn‘ t trying to replace you,] he pleaded, desperation creeping back into his voice. [I was trying to save her. I thought I was protecting her the way I couldn‘ t protect my sister.] 

I closed my eyes, forcing the tears back. His pain was real–I could feel it through the bond–but so was mine. His grief didn‘ t erase the months of neglect, the countless times he chose Monique over me. “And what about me?” I asked quietly, my voice trembling despite myself. “What about protecting me, Alpha? I’m your mate. Your Luna. Or did that mean nothing to you?” 

[It meant everything,] he whispered, his voice cracking. [You mean everything, Eloise. I just—] “No,” I cut him off, my anger flaring again, sharper this time. “You don‘ t get to say that. You don’t get to act like you can explain this away with some sob story about your past. I didn’t ask for much, foshua. I just asked for you to stand by me, to be my mate, to respect me as your Luna. And you couldn t even do that.‘ 

I didn’t know I was hurting you this much,] he said softly, like a man lost in his own regret. [If I had known–l 

“Would you have changed anything?” I snapped, biting down hard on my own pain. “Would you have put me first for once?‘ 

There was a pause on the other end of the line, and in that silence, I felt everything–the truth I already knew, the answer that would never come.