A Lifetime 85

Posted by adminh, ? Views, Released on November 5, 2024

Chapter 85

Alena

“Have a seat, Alena.” Papa said, breaking the silence.

I walked further into the room before I took a seat near his desk We were both looking at each other without saying anything, as if we were waiting for the other person to start saying something first. I was building up the courage to speak up, knowing we weren’t exactly in good terms before this.

My lips curved up into a small smile, trying to get rid of the awkwardness.

“I’m leaving,” I said.

“Of course. You’re going back home.”

Home. The word ‘home‘ itself brought comfort to me because I knew it was the exact same home I wanted to return to–I had always considered Papa’s house as my home before I moved out to further my studies but after I had gotten married. my definition of home had changed.

To me, home was wherever I could be with Matteo.

Where we could create different memories together for as long as we both lived. It didn’t matter if we decided to move out into another property, as long as we were together. We could be making memories in Paris, London or even Singapore, and it could be home.

To me, home wasn’t just a place. It was the person itself.

Growing up, I felt safe with Mama and Papa. During my teenage years, they were all I had and I never wanted to lose them. As I grew older, they were always going to be the ones I had but life was different this time, I had my own wants and needs.

I never wanted to lose them. Never.

“You made Matteo promise you to take care of me. You don’t have to worry about that, Papa. He’ll take good care of me. He’ll take good care of your daughter,” the words were clear as I spoke them in slowly.

The last time we had a conversation, it didn’t end well.

Truth be told, I never wanted to argue with my family. I never wanted to be in bad terms with them because they were everything to me–Papa had given me everything he could because he loved me. He wanted to make sure I got the experience of a normal life despite being the daughter of someone dangerous.

I could never hate Papa. I could never despise him.

He had given me my life.

We just couldn’t come to the same agreements anymore.

“If he fails, I won’t give him anymore chances. I don’t want to see you get hurt again, Alena.” He replied, his eyes were pierced into my own. I knew he meant every word he said when he didn’t hesitate. He could hurt him if anything happened

to me.

“Do you think he would fail? Do you think he’s not capable of protecting me?”

Papa sighed deeply, “I don’t doubt him at all, Alena. I believe he’s a good man and he’s capable of protecting you. I just don’t want to see you get hurt. I don’t want to lose my baby because I let her choose her man. I’m really scared if I lose you,”

I stood up before I made my way towards him, “Papa, you’re never going to lose me.”

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Chapter 85

“I’m terrified of that, Alena–You know I am.”

“Please, you have to trust him. You have to trust ine. Besides, it wasn’t even his fault.”

“You’re defending him…”

E

I shook my head, “I’m not. Nobody expected anything to happen during the first time. The second time? I was the one who left the house without telling him. He looked everywhere for me. If you want to blame someone for what happened, blame

me.”

“He should’ve tried harder,”

“Papa…”

“No, he should’ve.”

I frowned, “He was suffering, too.”

Papa’s eyes weren’t as harsh as they were before. This time, he looked at me with sympathy and compassion. For once, I felt as if he understood me, even though it was hard to explain. If I tried to understand him from his point of view, I could see myself looking at my little girl. I could see myself trying hard to believe my little girl had grown up.

Maybe, Papa was afraid of losing me because he never wanted his girls to grow up.

I was his princess once. I was always his princess.

Papa was also the first man I loved. The one who had sacrificed a lot for me. The one who had given me everything. The one who had taught me everything. I could never imagine if I lost him. I’d probably lose my mind.

“We didn’t expect to lose Marco. We didn’t expect to lose our son and when we did, we were still in shock. Instead of being there for him like he was for me, I left. I left because I was selfish and I only cared about myself, about my feelings. I thought I was healing myself.” I continued to talk, letting him listen. “That was when things went wrong.”

“Alena…”

“No, Papa. You have to listen because only then, you can understand.”

He nodded, “Go ahead, sweetheart. I’m listening,”

“I love Matteo. I know we didn’t get married under the right circumstances but after we got married and got to know each other better, I only wanted to be with him. He makes me feel whole. He makes me feel loved in different ways. He makes me feel seen.”

Tears were beginning to appear in my eyes as I continued to speak.

Papa, on the other hand, listened to every word I said. His eyes were starting to tear as well and I knew he was beginning to understand from my perspective. He had both of his hands cupping my face as he wiped away the fallen tears, making me smile at his gesture.

“I’m sorry I lost Marco. I’m really sorry I lost your grandson,”

“Don’t be. Never apologise for something you can’t control.”

“If I didn’t work too hard, he’d probably be here with us. None of this would have happened and we could probably be happier.” My heart felt like it broken into a million pieces as I placed a hand on my chest, trying to calm myself down. “He’s just a baby and he was taken away before he could even have the chance to live.”

Papa wrapped his arms around my body before he pulled me in for a hug, trying his very best to calm me down. As I stayed still and cried in his arms, I began to grab onto him even tighter as if my life depended on him–it was the first time I cried

Chapter 85

in front of him after so long but he made me feel like a little girl again.

His little girl.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay. Just let it out.” He whispered, rubbing my back.

“I miss him. I miss him so much,”

“I know you do. We all miss him, too.”

“I felt as if I lost another piece of me.”

I closed my eyes as I let myself cry, without holding anything back. It felt nice to be in Papa’s arms as he tried to soothe me, like soothing a child. To him, I was always going to be his little girl. Someone he needed to protect.

I remembered the moments when I first learned how to ride a bicycle and I fell.

I had scraped my knee and it was bleeding. Papa was the one who immediately rushed towards me because he wanted to check up on me. The worried look on his face when he saw the blood, even if it was normal to fall.

Then, the bruise it left afterwards.

I leaned back to look at Papa, who seemed worried.

He immediately wiped away the tears–on my cheeks.

took a better look at him and I saw the wrinkles on his face and the grey hair forming. My Papa was not getting any younger. In fact, he was getting older and I was going to have less time with him. I was scared of losing him too.

Papa was terrified of losing me. He worried about it.

What about me?

I was terrified of losing him. I was scared of the years he had left. I could never be fully prepared for when that time came and he was no longer here. I could never imagine a life without him in it.

“You won’t lose me, Papa.” I muttered.

“I’ll make sure I won’t. I can’t see my baby girl get hurt,”

I smiled, “You won’t. From now on moving forward, it’ll all get better but you have to promise me one thing.”

“What is it, sweetheart?”

“Don’t hate him too much, Papa. He’s trying his best,” my respond had caused him to stiffen for a little bit before he started to relax. It wasn’t the kind of promise he had expected but he knew it was the kind of promise he needed to respect.

“I’ll promise I will try not to. He just needs to prove it,” he replied

I nodded, “It’s his first living. Just like the rest of us. Along the way, we all make mistakes, don’t we? We just learn to be better and do better, that way we won’t make the same mistakes again. You’d understand that more than anyone else, Papa.”